Instructions on Christmas – how to do it.

Walk down my street, and you could be well forgiven for thinking it was Christmas yesterday or that Christmas falls on 25th November.

Neighbours now started their one-upmanship on having the best Christmas tree(s) in their windows, the most rubbish (ie, inflatable snowman/santa/uglythings) in their gardens, and of course more lights on their exterior walls/windows than a small African nation.

Now, will people PLEASE take a reality check and follow these instructions on how to have a Christmas:

1) No Christmas decorations of any kind until a week before Christmas. Personally, my family used to put them up on Christmas Eve. That way, Christmas fatigue doesn’t set in as early as you would get it.

Also, who cares if your neighbour has a better decoration than you have – so keep it simple, don’t deprive your neighbourhood of electricity – number 31 on my street will be getting a bill for my laptop if I get a brownout when the kids come home from school to switch the lights on.

2) You do not need to have as much presents as the boy did in Home Alone. Your lounge is not Toys R Us. Therefore you do not need to spend as much time shopping. Stop commercialising Christmas.

3) Stagger your Christmas shopping.

4) Save money on cards, don’t bother. And save the trees and reduce the environmental effects of transportation of sending said stuff.

5) All the family should be together on Christmas Day, with a giant turkey, and all the clippings and booze up, but not binge drink.

Keep Christmas simple, in the family, and short. The shorter it is, the more you appreciate it and don’t feel sick of it by the time Christmas actually comes round.

While I’m on the soapbox, I’d like to draw your attention to my Amazon wishlist *coughs* http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/registry/2EY914QPFMKKW *coughs*

Oh, and one more thing. It has bugger all to do with Christanity except in name – we’re celebrating an ancient pagan festival that the days are getting longer again.